Bad Habit

Today I realized I'm 100% sure that I know 0% about love. Society loves to romanticize this idea of a soulmate. There's this crazy concept out there that out of the seven billion (and counting) people on this earth, I was made for one person. I think that's absolute bullshit. What's even worse? I'm a hopeless romantic.

I know, I know. I'm contradicting myself before I can even complete my thought. But here's the thing; i've grown up my whole life listening to music that derives from human emotion, usually attached to love. It's so easy to think about experiences you've never had, when Destiny's Child spell it out perfectly. It's kind of human nature to reminisce about things you've never experienced. 

I have absolutely no idea what love is. I know what I've seen and heard and pretended to be, but that's not real. You can only watch The Notebook so many times before you realize that it's just wishful thinking. From what I've experienced, romance is messy. There's nothing smooth about it. Nothing about it flows perfectly and transforms into an hour and a half drama. I think that it takes time.

I'm still trying to figure out what love is or how it feels, and I think that i'll still be figuring it out when I'm on my deathbed. I know that I want someone to grow old with. I feel like the vast majority of people want that. Because being lonely sucks. But then again we also romanticize the concept of immortality, and staying "forever young." My mind is in this constant contradiction of what I desire, which makes relationships really difficult.

I want to fall in love and I want to have someone who will be my right hand person, but I also don't really know if I totally believe in true love. In this society it just seems inevitable that love won't work out.

I'm basically just rambling now, but I'm at a crossroad with myself and sometimes I get so exhausted with how often my brain runs around in circles.

The song of the week is "Bad Habit" by The Kooks, because my heart has some bad habits that are constantly overwhelming me.

Until next week friends, I hope you're figuring everything out better than I am.

Poet

I'm frustrated. Life is unfair and makes me feel so discouraged. That's why I'm here. I'm here to let out all the feelings that I've been building up inside, and to express myself in one of the only ways I know how: writing. 

So hi friends, I'm Farryn. It's January 1st, which is the perfect day to start this blog. New beginnings are something that I feel really strongly about so I feel that this is the perfect timing. There's something so calming about this global new start. As a world in a whole, we've decided that every year is a new beginning and new possibilities to pursue great things. It's such an uplifting thing to know that everyday I get to start over. At anytime I want, I can change everything about myself. I could pierce my nose, or start painting, working out, eating new things, or drive to new places.

Beginnings are really important to change, and change is really important to growing into who we're supposed to be. I'm not sure who I'm supposed to be quite yet. I might be a little late to the game, but then again being on time is SO last year.

Welcome to my blog. Enjoy your stay; I'll see you soon

xx - Far 

Song of the day: Poet by Bastille